Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
