i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize