he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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