She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
