he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize