i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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