Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
