Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
