Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize