another moral hangover. fuck.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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