Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
