My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize