I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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