This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
