But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
