I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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