Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize