Define "chronic" masturbator.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Randomize
