This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
A bitchslap is in order.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
