The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
