She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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