Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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