I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I have demons in me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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