Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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