look no pants
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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