ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
