Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
she looked like the before picture.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
