Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
