I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
