he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
