Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
