i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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