I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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