Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
