THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
