I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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