Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Need sex. Gaining weight.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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