We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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