I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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