Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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