And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
