are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize