The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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