She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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