I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
