It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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