why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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