There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I don't think brook has ever known best
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
