i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
