we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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