You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
