You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
