so that wasnt chicken after all
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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