There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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