I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
