It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
