i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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