Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
